Dear Readers,
I'm not sure when I'll be back or if I will be.
I don't even feel like eating hardly at all.
I have some things going on in life that are daily struggles and my living situation is changing.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Gensabi's Castle Of TG Capped Pics
Monday, April 9, 2018
Friday, March 30, 2018
April - World Of Confusion
Dear Readers,
As April approaches I'm not as better as I'd like to be. I'm still in a world of confusion about my future, my present, and even my past.
I feel extremely ugly and unwanted, and sometimes I can channel that into capped pics and other times I'm fighting suicidal thoughts.
I have several posts about retirement saved as drafts. I wrote one earlier yesterday now because I thought I was going to take a path in life without internet access or WiFi.
That didn't pan out and so depression took root and got me feeling how I described above.
I haven't felt like capping since I did that last one. I do suffer from anhedonia and it's been flaring up with different things all month. I'm averaging eating only once or twice a day. I have food but no desire to eat it. Even watching TV shows I follow has started to wane again.
I get these periods of not knowing what I want to do or have things that need done yet have no desire to do them.
I'm broken.
There's times when I can fake it till I make it. There's times when it takes all I have to leave the house.
I'm not even on my 19th nervous breakdown yet!
I have a lot to get figured out. If I can I might sprinkle a new capped pic here or there. Maybe. I don't know.
This is different from last year. Last year I had other things going on that occupied my mind better. Gave me something positive to focus on. I hadn't experienced the anhedonia yet or other side effects.
This year my anxiety surged past 11 up to 111.
This year things were different for both good and bad reasons.
I don't know how long it's going to take to get well again.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
As April approaches I'm not as better as I'd like to be. I'm still in a world of confusion about my future, my present, and even my past.
I feel extremely ugly and unwanted, and sometimes I can channel that into capped pics and other times I'm fighting suicidal thoughts.
I have several posts about retirement saved as drafts. I wrote one earlier yesterday now because I thought I was going to take a path in life without internet access or WiFi.
That didn't pan out and so depression took root and got me feeling how I described above.
I haven't felt like capping since I did that last one. I do suffer from anhedonia and it's been flaring up with different things all month. I'm averaging eating only once or twice a day. I have food but no desire to eat it. Even watching TV shows I follow has started to wane again.
I get these periods of not knowing what I want to do or have things that need done yet have no desire to do them.
I'm broken.
There's times when I can fake it till I make it. There's times when it takes all I have to leave the house.
I'm not even on my 19th nervous breakdown yet!
I have a lot to get figured out. If I can I might sprinkle a new capped pic here or there. Maybe. I don't know.
This is different from last year. Last year I had other things going on that occupied my mind better. Gave me something positive to focus on. I hadn't experienced the anhedonia yet or other side effects.
This year my anxiety surged past 11 up to 111.
This year things were different for both good and bad reasons.
I don't know how long it's going to take to get well again.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Monday, March 26, 2018
Tuesday, March 20, 2018
Taking Time
Dear Readers,
I am over the physical ailment.
I have been heavily contemplating retirement.
I'm still dealing with my mental health.
I haven't forgotten Bimbo Limbo but it's hard to keep making stories about it. I lost my momentum on it.
The more time I take the more I feel less inclined to retire. Yet I think I need to.
I'm having a hard time reconciling some things.
My priorities are in flux.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I am over the physical ailment.
I have been heavily contemplating retirement.
I'm still dealing with my mental health.
I haven't forgotten Bimbo Limbo but it's hard to keep making stories about it. I lost my momentum on it.
The more time I take the more I feel less inclined to retire. Yet I think I need to.
I'm having a hard time reconciling some things.
My priorities are in flux.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Sunday, March 11, 2018
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