Dear Readers,
I'm done. No comebacks this time.
I had a scare tonight. A scare that is taking me offline if I can manage it.
This was a Big Brother type scare. I tried to get help with emotional things and my paranoia got validated big time.
I'm going to try and go no internet for awhile. None. Nada. Zip. Zilch.
I'm not sure if it's going to work, but I don't like what happened tonight one bit.
I'm not going to be back on here.
I made a huge mistake.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Gensabi's Castle Of TG Capped Pics
Thursday, December 13, 2018
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
Purge And March
Dear Readers,
Depending on how things develop I might put new ones up in March. Right now I have a couple done, and might make more to cope with things.
My depression is getting to me though, and pic hunting today actually triggered the negative thoughts.
That being said, I've watched a lot more videos about the end of Tumblr.
I've read more news articles as well.
Personally, I disliked Tumblr but it's still weird to see a purge get this much attention.
I also don't like it that Apple has this much power to censor the internet.
We all need to see what happens with this. Will this result in further censorship of the internet?
It's already been happening on YouTube and on Twitter.
There's something else going on too.
I've recently been called out as being not inclusive just because I explained that Transgender means a guy becomes a woman and vice versa. The person who did it has no clue I'm Gensabi, but still...it's getting toxic out there.
See, if the view of TG is changing...well, I have no clue how to write the fiction other than traditional TG definitions. Well, I have written some weird stuff too. It's just...if the point isn't to become the opposite gender then what's the point?
I'm not changing the use of pronouns. He becomes she and she becomes he. I have no clue where ze fits in or goo or ga or lo or la, and I'm not doing the Knights Of Ni.
I don't think that's what a Pythonsexual would be anyways. Sounds like snake sex to me.
So. If the blog isn't purged by March, then we'll see what happens.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Depending on how things develop I might put new ones up in March. Right now I have a couple done, and might make more to cope with things.
My depression is getting to me though, and pic hunting today actually triggered the negative thoughts.
That being said, I've watched a lot more videos about the end of Tumblr.
I've read more news articles as well.
Personally, I disliked Tumblr but it's still weird to see a purge get this much attention.
I also don't like it that Apple has this much power to censor the internet.
We all need to see what happens with this. Will this result in further censorship of the internet?
It's already been happening on YouTube and on Twitter.
There's something else going on too.
I've recently been called out as being not inclusive just because I explained that Transgender means a guy becomes a woman and vice versa. The person who did it has no clue I'm Gensabi, but still...it's getting toxic out there.
See, if the view of TG is changing...well, I have no clue how to write the fiction other than traditional TG definitions. Well, I have written some weird stuff too. It's just...if the point isn't to become the opposite gender then what's the point?
I'm not changing the use of pronouns. He becomes she and she becomes he. I have no clue where ze fits in or goo or ga or lo or la, and I'm not doing the Knights Of Ni.
I don't think that's what a Pythonsexual would be anyways. Sounds like snake sex to me.
So. If the blog isn't purged by March, then we'll see what happens.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Thursday, December 6, 2018
The Tumblr Fall News
Dear Readers,
Still retired.
Though I thought it was important to share this news.
Tumblr is phasing out all adult content on December 17, 2018.
It looks like the cappers from there are moving onto Blogger.
I just ran into a few new TG blogs discussing this. Some are just starting out on here and others are established blogs getting the word out about what's going on.
As a veteran of purges back in the early 2000s, here's my predictions as to what's going to happen.
01.) With a sudden influx of new blogs created in this vein it may draw attention to the TG community on Blogger. If that happens it could start a new purge on here.
Why do I say that?
Back in the day TG websites were the thing. Free web hosting. A lot of those went down. When they did refuge was found on Lycos Groups.
That didn't last long. Then people split between Smart Groups and Yahoo Groups.
Smart fell first. Yahoo lasted until they made changes in 2014. Yahoo now owns Tumblr too.
Sanctuaries tend to fall when an influx happens.
02.) This backlash is completely content driven and is pretty much being done by Apple.
Apple now has enough weight to literally alter what can and can't be seen online. That's bad.
Google is the other big one. If they get on board with what's going on, well, then we're all screwed.
There's no place left to go. At least not without censorship and funky rules.
This is why net neutrality is important.
03.) Everything might be fine. The fall of Tumblr might not spread. It might not be a domino effect of purges.
But there's other factors at play. New laws governing the internet on the international level.
Also, I haven't heard much more about the distinction between fiction and non-fiction content. That's the biggest reason why I retired.
If the content producers that brought down Tumblr come to Blogger then it's possible there could be a new purge on here too.
Also, I think this is changing the way content is being sorted out.
The adult content warning for the blog may act as a safety net for now, but for how long?
Also, this might bring down Deviant Art. That's the other thing to look at right now.
We need to see what happens online after December 17.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Still retired.
Though I thought it was important to share this news.
Tumblr is phasing out all adult content on December 17, 2018.
It looks like the cappers from there are moving onto Blogger.
I just ran into a few new TG blogs discussing this. Some are just starting out on here and others are established blogs getting the word out about what's going on.
As a veteran of purges back in the early 2000s, here's my predictions as to what's going to happen.
01.) With a sudden influx of new blogs created in this vein it may draw attention to the TG community on Blogger. If that happens it could start a new purge on here.
Why do I say that?
Back in the day TG websites were the thing. Free web hosting. A lot of those went down. When they did refuge was found on Lycos Groups.
That didn't last long. Then people split between Smart Groups and Yahoo Groups.
Smart fell first. Yahoo lasted until they made changes in 2014. Yahoo now owns Tumblr too.
Sanctuaries tend to fall when an influx happens.
02.) This backlash is completely content driven and is pretty much being done by Apple.
Apple now has enough weight to literally alter what can and can't be seen online. That's bad.
Google is the other big one. If they get on board with what's going on, well, then we're all screwed.
There's no place left to go. At least not without censorship and funky rules.
This is why net neutrality is important.
03.) Everything might be fine. The fall of Tumblr might not spread. It might not be a domino effect of purges.
But there's other factors at play. New laws governing the internet on the international level.
Also, I haven't heard much more about the distinction between fiction and non-fiction content. That's the biggest reason why I retired.
If the content producers that brought down Tumblr come to Blogger then it's possible there could be a new purge on here too.
Also, I think this is changing the way content is being sorted out.
The adult content warning for the blog may act as a safety net for now, but for how long?
Also, this might bring down Deviant Art. That's the other thing to look at right now.
We need to see what happens online after December 17.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
OFFICIAL RETIREMENT!
Dear Readers,
First off, thanks for the comments on the last post. As of that post I still expected to be back.
Yes, this is my final complete retirement. I'm going to explain why very thoroughly.
01.) The rules have changed. What rules? That fiction is legal.
You're probably saying "Huh?" right now. So, here's what happened...are any of you familiar with Tumblr?
I don't use it myself, frankly I hate the place, but I know TG capped pics have been on there before. So, it's about to die.
Why? Because right now even fan art of underage characters that are explicit in nature is now being considered illegal. Despite being fictional.
A lot of artists have lost their accounts over this because that content is what got the Tumblr app dropped by Apple.
There used to be a line between fiction and non-fiction. With some caps I've written...that can be problematic. Especially if written fiction is now not exactly protected by the first amendment. A first amendment that's been under attack quite a lot lately.
02.) New laws. I've been hearing about a new law lately that takes copyright to insane levels. May affect a lot of YouTube people and get content brought down if not all copyright holders can be contacted and paid.
So, captioning pictures already stood on shaky ground for this already. My justification is creative fair use. That may not be enough anymore.
A lot of these new laws are on the international level. I actually have an international audience. It's funky.
03.) Anxiety. Look, numbers one and two are going to be sources of more anxiety if I continue. I don't need legal problems. It might be a matter of time before the blog gets purged anyways.
I've had my fill of purges, thank you.
The new standard seems to be whether or not content is "work appropriate" and you know what?
It was Yahoo purging Tumblr. Yeah. I bugged out from there to make this blog.
04.) I know you're all gonna argue I'm safe staying on as Gensabi.
I've heard the arguments for years. The justifications for certain capped pic themes and subjects being made.
It's not real, it's just fiction. Don't use ages in the captions. Only show the end result.
Well, then creativity gets the best of me. Think I'm safe due to freedom of expression. Freedom of speech. More and more people are getting consequences for their speech usage.
Freedom of speech and expression hasn't prevented a purge where artists actually made art...drawings...of certain acts and things.
I'm out.
I'm done.
That's it.
That's that.
I'm tempted to just delete the blog altogether. I'm not though.
I was willing to keep on going by working around my physical and mental health but with what's going on online?
I'm not gonna risk making and uploading any more.
This is post # 2472 signing off. I'll still check comments from time to time.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
P. S . - I was gonna stop in 2021 anyways. That's 20 years I think.
First off, thanks for the comments on the last post. As of that post I still expected to be back.
Yes, this is my final complete retirement. I'm going to explain why very thoroughly.
01.) The rules have changed. What rules? That fiction is legal.
You're probably saying "Huh?" right now. So, here's what happened...are any of you familiar with Tumblr?
I don't use it myself, frankly I hate the place, but I know TG capped pics have been on there before. So, it's about to die.
Why? Because right now even fan art of underage characters that are explicit in nature is now being considered illegal. Despite being fictional.
A lot of artists have lost their accounts over this because that content is what got the Tumblr app dropped by Apple.
There used to be a line between fiction and non-fiction. With some caps I've written...that can be problematic. Especially if written fiction is now not exactly protected by the first amendment. A first amendment that's been under attack quite a lot lately.
02.) New laws. I've been hearing about a new law lately that takes copyright to insane levels. May affect a lot of YouTube people and get content brought down if not all copyright holders can be contacted and paid.
So, captioning pictures already stood on shaky ground for this already. My justification is creative fair use. That may not be enough anymore.
A lot of these new laws are on the international level. I actually have an international audience. It's funky.
03.) Anxiety. Look, numbers one and two are going to be sources of more anxiety if I continue. I don't need legal problems. It might be a matter of time before the blog gets purged anyways.
I've had my fill of purges, thank you.
The new standard seems to be whether or not content is "work appropriate" and you know what?
It was Yahoo purging Tumblr. Yeah. I bugged out from there to make this blog.
04.) I know you're all gonna argue I'm safe staying on as Gensabi.
I've heard the arguments for years. The justifications for certain capped pic themes and subjects being made.
It's not real, it's just fiction. Don't use ages in the captions. Only show the end result.
Well, then creativity gets the best of me. Think I'm safe due to freedom of expression. Freedom of speech. More and more people are getting consequences for their speech usage.
Freedom of speech and expression hasn't prevented a purge where artists actually made art...drawings...of certain acts and things.
I'm out.
I'm done.
That's it.
That's that.
I'm tempted to just delete the blog altogether. I'm not though.
I was willing to keep on going by working around my physical and mental health but with what's going on online?
I'm not gonna risk making and uploading any more.
This is post # 2472 signing off. I'll still check comments from time to time.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
P. S . - I was gonna stop in 2021 anyways. That's 20 years I think.
Monday, November 19, 2018
Update On No Updates
Dear Readers,
I'm probably not going to have any new ones for awhile.
My anxiety has been in full swing. It's currently taking all I got to even interact with other humans.
I've had ideas. Still pic hunting. Just no desire to be productive at all.
I'm not suicidal though. It's more like I don't feel like dying or living. Just existing.
I want to wish everyone happy holidays.
I'm probably not going to be back before March. The anxiety has hit me earlier than last year and I have barely been able to get through things.
Working on that in therapy.
If new caps happen they do. Every day is different despite being mostly the same.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I'm probably not going to have any new ones for awhile.
My anxiety has been in full swing. It's currently taking all I got to even interact with other humans.
I've had ideas. Still pic hunting. Just no desire to be productive at all.
I'm not suicidal though. It's more like I don't feel like dying or living. Just existing.
I want to wish everyone happy holidays.
I'm probably not going to be back before March. The anxiety has hit me earlier than last year and I have barely been able to get through things.
Working on that in therapy.
If new caps happen they do. Every day is different despite being mostly the same.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Tuesday, October 23, 2018
Health Issues, Lack Of Ideas
Dear Readers,
I'm pretty much one big infection. All over. Not fun. Hurts like Hell.
So, I'm not doing much capping lately.
I have a lot of pics I'd like to cap but not a lot of ideas for them.
I mean, I'd like to do something new with them rather than retreading over old plot devices and cliches.
There's something cooking in my head but I'm not sure how to go about it or do it.
Also, my anxiety is ratcheting up. The next few months might be extremely lacking in posts. Depression has been active a lot recently.
April might be when I'll be back the most.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I'm pretty much one big infection. All over. Not fun. Hurts like Hell.
So, I'm not doing much capping lately.
I have a lot of pics I'd like to cap but not a lot of ideas for them.
I mean, I'd like to do something new with them rather than retreading over old plot devices and cliches.
There's something cooking in my head but I'm not sure how to go about it or do it.
Also, my anxiety is ratcheting up. The next few months might be extremely lacking in posts. Depression has been active a lot recently.
April might be when I'll be back the most.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Saturday, October 13, 2018
New Ones, Bowsette, ETC
Dear Readers,
Ok, so here's what's going on.
New ones are on hold indefinitely. I'm working through some things mentally that have to be sorted before I can make new capped pics again.
So, Bowsette. Got a lot of comments asking about doing a caption on her. I'm not gonna do it.
Why?
01.) I already covered Bowser/Peach in "Just Peachy" back in 2012. See last post.
02.) The internet has already done the Peach Crown power up to death. Booette, Goombette, Bullette, Chompette, Waluigette, and so on. Even the flying mask from SMB 2 has been done! What else is there to do?
03.) I already did Mario and Luigi as part of Gender Crisis On Infinite Earths.
04.) Take the Peach Crown out of the game and into our world? See Level Up series 1 - 3. Did that. Plus numerous caps using VR as a way to switch.
There's nothing new I can do with it.
Now, maybe Donkey Kong into Pauline, but cappy might have to be used. I dunno. I mean, they even did Yoshi. And the squid thing.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Ok, so here's what's going on.
New ones are on hold indefinitely. I'm working through some things mentally that have to be sorted before I can make new capped pics again.
So, Bowsette. Got a lot of comments asking about doing a caption on her. I'm not gonna do it.
Why?
01.) I already covered Bowser/Peach in "Just Peachy" back in 2012. See last post.
02.) The internet has already done the Peach Crown power up to death. Booette, Goombette, Bullette, Chompette, Waluigette, and so on. Even the flying mask from SMB 2 has been done! What else is there to do?
03.) I already did Mario and Luigi as part of Gender Crisis On Infinite Earths.
04.) Take the Peach Crown out of the game and into our world? See Level Up series 1 - 3. Did that. Plus numerous caps using VR as a way to switch.
There's nothing new I can do with it.
Now, maybe Donkey Kong into Pauline, but cappy might have to be used. I dunno. I mean, they even did Yoshi. And the squid thing.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Monday, October 8, 2018
Thursday, October 4, 2018
Sunday, September 23, 2018
Saturday, September 22, 2018
Technical Difficulties And Health
Dear Readers,
My devices have been having WiFi trouble as of late, in particular the one I use to get on here.
My health has been up and down. Mentally it's been harder to get things done.
I'm keeping this short because it's a bit funky typing up posts on this device I'm using.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Wednesday, August 29, 2018
Monday, August 27, 2018
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
Wednesday, August 8, 2018
Worse Health
Dear Readers,
I have been dealing with bad health like crazy this year. Infection after infection. All over my body. Heck, right now it's my eyes.
I think I'm done. I have two to upload but I don't know when I'll feel like it. I'm just trying to take it easy and rest my eyes the best I can.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I have been dealing with bad health like crazy this year. Infection after infection. All over my body. Heck, right now it's my eyes.
I think I'm done. I have two to upload but I don't know when I'll feel like it. I'm just trying to take it easy and rest my eyes the best I can.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Wednesday, July 4, 2018
New Process, Longer And Shorter Times
Dear Readers,
You might have noticed that slew of new capped pics I recently did. I was posting them as soon as I saw the previous post hit 100 views.
All I had done are posted.
So, here's what happened...my pic hunting habits changed. The Moggy sites stopped updating so that was going towards another good reason to call it quits.
I've found a new resource for pics though yet it's more time consuming than before...or at least more tedious.
Right now I have 219 new pics ready for capping but I'm not moving them out until I finish the 192 left to go. That's what I've been working on the last couple days.
It's more tedious because I have to crop each one then move it to the folder I copy to my tablet for capping.
Why not move the 219 over now and work on them and do the rest later?
Because transferring files between the devices is evil and touchy so if I can transfer everything in one attempt it's less of a headache. Especially since my tablet can't charge through the USB hub.
So, this might take a few days. I'm doing all this on touch screens. It's a tedious process and it runs down the battery on my devices rather quickly.
That all being said, when this is done and transferred I can just go capping and upload them as drafts upon getting done. That's why there was a rapid succession of capped pics recently.
These new pics will diversify the models more. Of course, there will be model repeats but I should be able to space them out better.
So, that's the update on what's going on.
There's a bit more work to do now. It's not as easy peasy lemon squeezey as it used to be.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
You might have noticed that slew of new capped pics I recently did. I was posting them as soon as I saw the previous post hit 100 views.
All I had done are posted.
So, here's what happened...my pic hunting habits changed. The Moggy sites stopped updating so that was going towards another good reason to call it quits.
I've found a new resource for pics though yet it's more time consuming than before...or at least more tedious.
Right now I have 219 new pics ready for capping but I'm not moving them out until I finish the 192 left to go. That's what I've been working on the last couple days.
It's more tedious because I have to crop each one then move it to the folder I copy to my tablet for capping.
Why not move the 219 over now and work on them and do the rest later?
Because transferring files between the devices is evil and touchy so if I can transfer everything in one attempt it's less of a headache. Especially since my tablet can't charge through the USB hub.
So, this might take a few days. I'm doing all this on touch screens. It's a tedious process and it runs down the battery on my devices rather quickly.
That all being said, when this is done and transferred I can just go capping and upload them as drafts upon getting done. That's why there was a rapid succession of capped pics recently.
These new pics will diversify the models more. Of course, there will be model repeats but I should be able to space them out better.
So, that's the update on what's going on.
There's a bit more work to do now. It's not as easy peasy lemon squeezey as it used to be.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Monday, July 2, 2018
Sunday, July 1, 2018
Saturday, June 30, 2018
Friday, June 29, 2018
Thursday, June 28, 2018
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Bad Health, Changed Perspectives
Dear Readers,
So, I had a couple weeks of good health. Now it's back to bad again. Recurring infections. I hate bacteria. I hate fungus.
My views on women have changed too. I have a very eloquently written essay on this saved as a draft.
Frankly, I don't know if I'll make more capped pics or not. My health both mental and physical is putting me off to doing a lot of things.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
So, I had a couple weeks of good health. Now it's back to bad again. Recurring infections. I hate bacteria. I hate fungus.
My views on women have changed too. I have a very eloquently written essay on this saved as a draft.
Frankly, I don't know if I'll make more capped pics or not. My health both mental and physical is putting me off to doing a lot of things.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Monday, June 18, 2018
4 New Links To The Right
Dear Readers,
Found some more body swap videos last night and I added the links to them.
It's kinda too hot to do anything today. I couldn't even sleep last night. I must have fallen asleep around 6 or 7 AM.
Still tired actually.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Found some more body swap videos last night and I added the links to them.
It's kinda too hot to do anything today. I couldn't even sleep last night. I must have fallen asleep around 6 or 7 AM.
Still tired actually.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Saturday, June 16, 2018
Update
Dear Readers,
Here's what's going on.
First off, my main pic hunting grounds haven't been updated in about a month. Not since mid-May.
I've been working on finding other pics but I'm also still dealing with space issues too.
My physical health has stabilized, but my mental health has not.
In fact, my attitudes towards women is changing and that may affect my making capped pics. Women are not my favorite subject right now.
I'm not sure when I'll do more. I did one the other day but I don't feel like uploading it.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Here's what's going on.
First off, my main pic hunting grounds haven't been updated in about a month. Not since mid-May.
I've been working on finding other pics but I'm also still dealing with space issues too.
My physical health has stabilized, but my mental health has not.
In fact, my attitudes towards women is changing and that may affect my making capped pics. Women are not my favorite subject right now.
I'm not sure when I'll do more. I did one the other day but I don't feel like uploading it.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Tuesday, June 5, 2018
Taking It Easy
Dear Readers,
I go back to the doctor tomorrow for the third time within a month.
I've been following a rigorous schedule of antibiotics and going to the bathroom more often than I'd like.
I'm taking things easy to let my body heal up.
Unfortunately today I started cold like symptoms. My nose has been evil. Resorted to Chicken Noodle Soup.
I don't know when I'll feel better enough to start making capped pics again.
Heck, I just stopped typing this for a toilet break! This sucks.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I go back to the doctor tomorrow for the third time within a month.
I've been following a rigorous schedule of antibiotics and going to the bathroom more often than I'd like.
I'm taking things easy to let my body heal up.
Unfortunately today I started cold like symptoms. My nose has been evil. Resorted to Chicken Noodle Soup.
I don't know when I'll feel better enough to start making capped pics again.
Heck, I just stopped typing this for a toilet break! This sucks.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Friday, June 1, 2018
Health First
Dear Readers,
I'm not doing well at all. Two emergency room visits in three days. Not good.
I was put on one antibiotic the first time. This time I was given an IV of antibiotics, still on the original one, and on a new one too.
I've never been on so many antibiotics at once before!
I have very extensive care instructions and it's going to be a week or two trying to get through this.
New captions aren't happening anytime soon.
I'm dealing with physical pain, a wound that needs healing, and the prospect of amputation if things get way worse.
I'm not even sure I can keep the schedule of my antibiotics straight! One is twice a day and the other is four times a day!
I'm in health recovery mode big time. Monday will be scheduling follow up appointments.
So, that's what's going on. My health sucks. If it's not one thing it's another.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I'm not doing well at all. Two emergency room visits in three days. Not good.
I was put on one antibiotic the first time. This time I was given an IV of antibiotics, still on the original one, and on a new one too.
I've never been on so many antibiotics at once before!
I have very extensive care instructions and it's going to be a week or two trying to get through this.
New captions aren't happening anytime soon.
I'm dealing with physical pain, a wound that needs healing, and the prospect of amputation if things get way worse.
I'm not even sure I can keep the schedule of my antibiotics straight! One is twice a day and the other is four times a day!
I'm in health recovery mode big time. Monday will be scheduling follow up appointments.
So, that's what's going on. My health sucks. If it's not one thing it's another.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Thursday, May 31, 2018
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Taking Care Of Myself
Dear Readers,
I was back in the hospital today. I don't think it's even been two weeks since I was out of it yet.
More physical health issues. It's got me on the most intensive antibiotics I've ever been on in my life!
So, I have no clue if or when anything new will be done. Honestly, it's been so hot out lately that it's probably better to stay inside and caption.
Alas, my focus for the next several days is taking meds. And using hot compresses. And it's not exactly how I planned spending the next week.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I was back in the hospital today. I don't think it's even been two weeks since I was out of it yet.
More physical health issues. It's got me on the most intensive antibiotics I've ever been on in my life!
So, I have no clue if or when anything new will be done. Honestly, it's been so hot out lately that it's probably better to stay inside and caption.
Alas, my focus for the next several days is taking meds. And using hot compresses. And it's not exactly how I planned spending the next week.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Friday, May 25, 2018
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
Monday, May 21, 2018
Sunday, May 20, 2018
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Stress Relief
Dear Readers,
I've made some new ones. Kinda as a stress relief.
My blood pressure has been getting high, and stress has made my health worse. I'm still feeling the effects of blood thinners from the hospital too. I can't take too much sun now.
Maybe it really was vampires disguised as night nurses taking my blood?
Also my living situation changed again so I have more privacy again as well. The living situation thing was really stressing me out a lot.
I'm not sure I'm back. I'm taking it easy. Doc appointments most of next week.
I have 3 done. Not sure if I'll be making more. Space situation is still funky.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Hospitalized And Stress
Dear Readers,
If you noticed I stopped responding to comments it's because I've been in the hospital for the past several days, not alone in the room, and the WiFi was spotty.
Luckily, I didn't need heart surgery.
Back at home today and the stress is already getting to me. I was going to caption a few pics but I think I accidentally left my tablet on and the battery needs to charge up from depletion.
I had to take an ambulance. It was a fast thing. Unexpected.
I'm trying to take it easy. This morning's tests took a toll on my body a lot.
Thanks for all the comments on the last post. Starting to get a headache again...so I'm cutting this short.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
If you noticed I stopped responding to comments it's because I've been in the hospital for the past several days, not alone in the room, and the WiFi was spotty.
Luckily, I didn't need heart surgery.
Back at home today and the stress is already getting to me. I was going to caption a few pics but I think I accidentally left my tablet on and the battery needs to charge up from depletion.
I had to take an ambulance. It was a fast thing. Unexpected.
I'm trying to take it easy. This morning's tests took a toll on my body a lot.
Thanks for all the comments on the last post. Starting to get a headache again...so I'm cutting this short.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Wednesday, May 2, 2018
Thanks And No Thanks
Dear Readers,
Thanks to all those that understand and sent well wishes.
No thanks to the one or maybe two people who decided this was something to fight me over. I don't need that and didn't need that.
So I want to lay this out. Fully lay this out.
Last year I had a mental breakdown. A traumatic event happened that changed my real life.
I already had physical illnesses but I kept going.
This year I relived that trauma completely. The stress from that has raised my blood sugar to catastrophic levels that put me at risk of going blind, having a stroke, or even a heart attack.
That traumatic experience is why I didn't finish Bimbo Limbo. I was prepared for anniversary anxiety but not for reliving the trauma all over again. It took me most of March to calm down. My anxiety was so high I had attacks just trying to grocery shop.
My liver isn't working right either. Test results are elevated. Normal blood sugar lowering things like exercise and losing weight are not working now. On Monday I was told my pancreas may be failing.
I need to change doctors though because the one I have wasn't doing all the tests needed to be done every 3 months.
I have to test myself several times a day. My diet is changed. Exercise might help getting my cells to work better with insulin.
The stakes are if I don't focus on this I could at the worst die, or become severely disabled.
I can't caption if I go blind.
I can't caption if I have a really bad stroke.
I might not survive a heart attack.
Not retiring would be irresponsible right now. I don't want to leave readers hanging for years wondering if I'll be back or if I'm dead or mentally incapacitated.
I'm dealing with depression on top of all this. It's hard to not stress out about the effects of stressing out. I don't need more stress on top of it all.
I was hoping that if I got my health under control I might come back. Maybe in a year. Three to six months maybe. Or the worst might happen and I can't. I don't know.
People fighting me over retiring though? After explaining all this? That makes me NOT want to try and come back at all.
It makes me feel like places I've worked that didn't care if I had diarrhea they wanted me there at work in a cubicle shitting myself. They timed you using the bathroom too. It was a no-win scenario.
I've been Gensabi for 18 years. Nobody ever threw me a parade, and the community? I haven't felt like part of the community since 2005 or 2007 or around there.
I don't want a parade. I know my contributions to TG fiction have been jack squat.
Nothing I ever made up ever caught on. Nobody ever wanted to use my creations. Meanwhile, the Great Shift and Medallion Of Zulo are still going on strong. I did a series that predates the FOSE but oh well.
I should be able to go out on my own terms. It's not like I don't have valid reasons.
I uploaded the last of what I had done. I was even contemplating making a new one or two but this kinda soured it.
I need to get my new routine done. I have to try and reverse my health prognosis.
If you don't like it then may you find out Karma is a bitch.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Thanks to all those that understand and sent well wishes.
No thanks to the one or maybe two people who decided this was something to fight me over. I don't need that and didn't need that.
So I want to lay this out. Fully lay this out.
Last year I had a mental breakdown. A traumatic event happened that changed my real life.
I already had physical illnesses but I kept going.
This year I relived that trauma completely. The stress from that has raised my blood sugar to catastrophic levels that put me at risk of going blind, having a stroke, or even a heart attack.
That traumatic experience is why I didn't finish Bimbo Limbo. I was prepared for anniversary anxiety but not for reliving the trauma all over again. It took me most of March to calm down. My anxiety was so high I had attacks just trying to grocery shop.
My liver isn't working right either. Test results are elevated. Normal blood sugar lowering things like exercise and losing weight are not working now. On Monday I was told my pancreas may be failing.
I need to change doctors though because the one I have wasn't doing all the tests needed to be done every 3 months.
I have to test myself several times a day. My diet is changed. Exercise might help getting my cells to work better with insulin.
The stakes are if I don't focus on this I could at the worst die, or become severely disabled.
I can't caption if I go blind.
I can't caption if I have a really bad stroke.
I might not survive a heart attack.
Not retiring would be irresponsible right now. I don't want to leave readers hanging for years wondering if I'll be back or if I'm dead or mentally incapacitated.
I'm dealing with depression on top of all this. It's hard to not stress out about the effects of stressing out. I don't need more stress on top of it all.
I was hoping that if I got my health under control I might come back. Maybe in a year. Three to six months maybe. Or the worst might happen and I can't. I don't know.
People fighting me over retiring though? After explaining all this? That makes me NOT want to try and come back at all.
It makes me feel like places I've worked that didn't care if I had diarrhea they wanted me there at work in a cubicle shitting myself. They timed you using the bathroom too. It was a no-win scenario.
I've been Gensabi for 18 years. Nobody ever threw me a parade, and the community? I haven't felt like part of the community since 2005 or 2007 or around there.
I don't want a parade. I know my contributions to TG fiction have been jack squat.
Nothing I ever made up ever caught on. Nobody ever wanted to use my creations. Meanwhile, the Great Shift and Medallion Of Zulo are still going on strong. I did a series that predates the FOSE but oh well.
I should be able to go out on my own terms. It's not like I don't have valid reasons.
I uploaded the last of what I had done. I was even contemplating making a new one or two but this kinda soured it.
I need to get my new routine done. I have to try and reverse my health prognosis.
If you don't like it then may you find out Karma is a bitch.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Friday, April 27, 2018
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