Dear Readers,
I'm definitely not coming back this time.
This morning I was confronted privately. After pouring out my heart and soul to explain my experiences I was told it's all just fetish, not real Transgender experience, that everything I described was fetish and that transgender is more than about "wearing pink pumps". Apparently their teenage years experiences are valid but mine were not. Mine were just "fetishism". That being part of the online TG community wasn't real. Again the COGIATI test was attacked. When I started out that was the recommended go to. Now? It's laughed at, dismissed as being a tool for figuring out whether or not to transition.
So I'm not coming back. If all this was just fetishism there's no point. If my experiences aren't valid, if what I went through isn't legitimate, then why even bother?
I'm done. I can't come back. It used to be so welcoming. People understood that each person takes a different journey. How can you demand that your experiences be respected then totally negate someone else's? That's not right.
I did have more new ones made. I just wasn't going to post them and I never will now. I'm apparently not qualified to be a participant in anything TG at all. So I won't be.
My feelings don't matter. My experiences are illegitimate. My opinions hold no weight.
It doesn't matter if I was scared of being caught wearing my mom's clothes. It doesn't matter how abusive my father was towards women. It doesn't matter how I felt even before having a computer or finding the community online. It was all just fetishism apparently.
I know many didn't like my ego. The retirement attempts in the past always failed due to that ego. There were times being Gensabi was therapeutic. I really tried to keep going for the fans. Some people even said it helped on their TG journey. I don't know anymore.
I think this is my last post. I'm honestly thinking about deleting the blog. What's the point in keeping it up other than my ego?
Sincerely,
Gensabi
First off I do t think one person can determine that for you. I think it is up to you to decide that. Also I’m one who enjoys making, and reading Tg, caps, stories and other things but I know I’m not TG. Just because you might not be doesn’t mean it’s wrong to.
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to the nay sayers be you...be who you are and say to Hell with them. If they cant accept you, let them go pound sand!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I just said something similar after how they said I disgusted them by cross dressing when I was younger...yet they're fully transitioned. How inclusive of them.
DeleteDon't start to play the victim card after dismissing the identity and lived experience of non-binary people for months. Doesn't feel good does it? Now what you experienced is absolutely horrible and something nobody should have to experience, but you act as if you've not been doing the exact same shit to others... Go and educate yourself and fuck right off
ReplyDeleteyeah... you're not exactly an example of a member of an accepting community, while policing what it means to be trans. I really loved your work for a long time. Been following it for almost a decade at this point. You might be trans. But being trans does not make you not an asshole. And I'm sad to see you take these stances.
ReplyDeleteGensabi, I understand your pain and it truly saddens me that you feel tortured in this way. You have no obligations to bow down to anybody’s rules but your own, the only people who truly matter are those who carve their own path. I think many of those interested in the “Bodyswap” genre are a type of transgender of their own category, many of us would willingly become a woman permanently in the blink of an eye if it was a possibility. We are attracted to traditional sex roles and want to be perceived and treated as women, not trans women—I will respect anyone’s right to do what they want with their bodies. But I personally want it to be completely real. I think a break from captioning might serve you well, allow you to focus on your inner self in whatever way you see fit, maybe for a year, maybe forever. But either way I would hate to see this blog, that I’ve been reading and enjoying for years be gone entirely
ReplyDeletePost what you want! If some idiots don't like it then they can take a long walk off a short pier in to the great lakes. You should not try to play this high school bs for anyone!
ReplyDeleteWell gensabi, it has been nearly 10 years since i visit this blog the first time, and, to tell the truth it was a really satisfying experiencie, when i found other people like me that was in that tg fiction, and was like “i do really wish i can become someone else” , so, seeing your post and all of the community was really satisfying, i found people that think like me, when i was in my very bad moments, this and other blogs help me pass my days, i think in february 2014 when i visited your blog, and it was really enjoying read the captions, nowadays i read tg blogspots yet, but now i really like manga and doujins about this stuff, so seeing u that u really left the blog makes me sad, hope u can came back, and this will pass like a temporary leave while u came back to ur senses, and keep doin’ what u really like, idk your age, but for me a teen (now adult) who saw your blog for the first time, was refreshing, really thanks for all the content u do and post here, hope u have a good life in this path of mortality and hoping that of u die, u can wake up in a body u always dream of, i wish that happen to me too, good bye
ReplyDeleteI have enjoyed your caps here, I’ve had friends transition over the years and after all was said & done, it put their lives on a better track and they followed their game plans to the letter. It was truly amazing to see them from before & after. These goons that think they can rule over every aspect of our lives haven’t been there to see what it’s actually all about. Best wishes to you Gensabi!
ReplyDeleteOpinions are like assholes... Why put so much weight into one when there's a whole community out here that has similar experiences to you, know how you feel and has the same thoughts and feelings as you do? In the end, if you choose to stop, then do it for yourself, not because one asshat voiced what they think a little louder than everyone else. You do amazing work, If it's your outlet, then don't let someone else shut you out of it.
ReplyDeleteI personally don't care whether or not you conform to anyone's definition of "transgender" - even your own. But speaking as someone who's followed your blog for years?
ReplyDeleteI'd be fine if you chose not to come back.
You throw tantrums. You cry and complain if you don't get enough attention. You threaten to quit every six months over shit that's slight or overblown. You're base and manipulative and it's not even subtle.
In this post? A direct quote from you:
"I did have more new ones made. I just wasn't going to post them and I never will now. I'm apparently not qualified to be a participant in anything TG at all. So I won't be."
Given that you've been gone for months after your last "I'm done, I'm quitting forever, woe is me, won't you all be sorry" post, this is just blatant baiting by a petulant child. Were you expecting "Oh, we're sorry Gensabi! Please, we REALLY REALLY wanna see your work"?
Grow up. If you don't care about your haters, stop paying attention to them and post what you want. If their opinion DOES matter, stop railing against any criticism and learn to grow and change. And regardless of what you choose to do, stop making it your readers' problem.
I have wanted to quit since 2011 at least. Back then I was on Yahoo Groups. Every time I tried to it was the fans begging me to stay, to keep going, because I was one of the last of the old guard left. One of the few maybe even the last one from the early days that kept going.
DeleteSo I kept coming back for the fans. I still wanted to quit all that time.
Then my attempts to stop then having my mind changed suddenly went from being selfless to seen as selfish.
I am tired of people like you not being happy either way. Nobody expects me to stay retired. Yet if I come back it's "oh look, Gensabi's ego brought him back again just like we predicted, it's all just a ploy for attention!".
"Being selfless to seen as selfish." Nah, it's SEEN as selfish. It IS selfish.
DeleteIt's not the coming back that's the problem. It's the constant posting about leaving. Your behavior is textbook attention seeking and has been for years. Maybe when it first started in 2011, it really was about the fans - I don't actually believe that, but who knows.
It stopped being that years ago. It's about feeding your ego, because this happens every time someone confronts you with facts you don't like or when you don't see enough traffic or interaction with your posts.
As far as "people like me not being happy either way"? I thought "I'd be fine if you chose not to come back" made it pretty clear I was happy with you leaving.