Calmed Down A Bit

Dear Readers,

Ok, since I stopped taking the medicine I have regained the ability to dream and I have my internal radio back.

It's still hard to imagine things listening to music and going on walks my mind is unable to just wander. 

Things I had in the works I kinda remember but right now looking at uncapped pics does nothing for me. They're all just pictures of women. No stories are generating inside my mind. Not even physical attraction to the models. 

I'm hoping as time passes I'll regain the mental attributes I've lost. 

I've been a creative person all my life. Through loneliness I've been very attuned to my mind. 

I think it's a Van Gogh trade off. Creativity comes with the cost of depression and if you take away one you lose the other...I'm just hyper or meta self aware.

I understood that something was wrong. I did reach out to my provider's office. They might call me back on Monday.

I had nowhere else to go but back to the pharmacist to get answers. My provider and the pharmacist originally said this medicine shouldn't affect me this early. It did. 

I announced my retirement because as of right now I am not capable of making new capped pics. 

My inspiration station is inaccessible. I don't know how to jumpstart it.

This medicine alters brain chemistry. I'm hoping I didn't take enough to have permanent damage. That I can regain what I lost.

I don't know. I don't know if I can come back from this. 

It might just be time. I'm not sure. 

Sincerely,
Gensabi