Dear Readers,
My health has now reached catastrophic levels. Stress exacerbated other biological factors that are now...well, I don't know if I can pull back from the brink of bad health this time.
I'm on the edge. My liver may even be going. It's bad. All bad.
Right now I can't even eat normally or else it may put me in the hospital. That is how catastrophic this is.
I have made some more caps, not many, and I can try to put them up. One is an unfinished series. A couple one shots.
I have to focus on my health 100%.
I don't know if I'll be able to be back. Heck, I don't even know if I'm gonna be alive. Yeah, this adds more stress.
I am so hungry right now but if I eat it could make things worse.
Not eating doesn't help either. Exercise didn't even help. I'm screwed.
You know what really sucks? I don't drink all and my liver is going out anyways. I hate it when body parts mutiny on me.
So, I gotta retire.
It's better to stop now and have some closure instead of being a what if, a who knows, or an unanswered question.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
I am so sorry to hear this. I've been following your captions since your yahoo groups days. my prayers are with you gensabi. :(
ReplyDeleteThanks. I don't know what's going to happen. I ate though. Figured it's better to have a full stomach than try starving to fix my bodily statistics. I really should be asleep right now. Have to call the doctor early in the morning. They called me yesterday to set up an appointment to discuss my blood work from Hell.
DeleteThe worst part is this stuff can lead to a stroke or heart attack, and my liver is of concern. If it wasn't for all that, and other stressful things...a family member may have brain cancer...it's just the time to retire.
Maybe in months I'll come out of retirement like Kiss used to do every year. Or I could be dead. Or half dead. I don't know.
A new body really would be nice right about now!
I have been following your work since the yahoo days as well, and my heart goes out to you! Please take care of yourself! We will miss you, your work has meant something to many people you'll never know. I hope we'll see you again, and I hope for the return of your health more than anything! My thoughts and prayers will be with you! I know that can be cliched, but I wish you nothing but the best!
ReplyDeleteThanks. Almost needed to go to the hospital today.
DeleteSorry to hear about your health. I hope things work out. It's sad to lose a great artist. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Between mental health and physical health it sucks. Now one may be impacting the other.
Deletei hope you get better
ReplyDeleteThanks. Unfortunately it's like somebody changed the laws of physics on me. My attempts to rectify things may have made it worse.
Deletesorry about your health. hope all works out in the end. you're one of the few captioners I like reading
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteSorry to hear about your health. I like your captions. But your health comes first.
ReplyDeleteI hope that you will get better and return.
Thanks. I don't know. Things are topsy turvy right now.
Deleteif you need to focus on your health just drop all of the caps and say goodbye health is more important
ReplyDeleteThanks. That's what I'm trying to do.
DeleteTake care and get well!
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteSitting and agonizing over your health concerns is not healthy. Taking care of one self is, but having outlets that one enjoys to occupy the mind is the key to life. So my suggestion is to keep up with all the activities you enjoy as much as possible for as long as possible.
ReplyDeleteIt's not that easy. I suffer from anhedonia which is the loss of enjoyment in things one loved to do. It's affected what foods I eat, how often I watch TV, read, and more.
DeleteStress is a huge part of the problem too. Stressing about bad health effects from stress is like a ragnarok of evilness.
The last three months have been hell. Now within the past week my liver is bad, my blood sugar is evil, a family member may have a brain tumor...it's constant suck.
A constant suck, that's life for everyone now or at one time or another. Try to look at the positive and what you do have instead of all the problems you do. Like a mind, this mind still allows you to make great captions like you just posted and still function doing many things besides captions, right? You also can still walk, still have the use of your legs and arms. You can still breathe not hooked up to an oxygen tank. I could go on but the point is you still have a heck of a lot going for you so just quitting on things isn't the answer. Just keep as many doors open for as long as possible, some days that door might not be enjoyable then just move onto the next, but there is no need or thought of having to put a lock onto it until it's needed.
DeleteI get it, but you don't understand. I try to exercise 90 minutes a day. I've even lost over 10 pounds in three months. Parts of my body are not working right to the point where this weekend doing the exercise actually put my body at risk for going into shock.
DeleteIf I don't tackle this I could have a stroke...and mind gone. Or a heart attack...then life gone.
That's all besides whatever is going on with my liver.
I have to change my eating habits, continually monitoring my condition, and it's all very time consuming.
I get it you have issues, I have issues, but quitting on things you've done and enjoy is just the wrong thing to do. Even if your enjoyment is less, if its still there even the slightest then just scale way, way, back. Retirement to me sounds like quitting and I hate quitters, people have followed you caring more then just about your captions for years and then to just disappear is a slap in the face. To me this is a community of like minded people, we go through are in's and outs dealing with real life that may cause us to disappear for a few weeks, months, etc that I can understand, quitting I cannot. Then there is the people that quit on the community then come back, like the community should throw a big parade for them that their back when they stated that the community wasn't something they needed hence the word retirement. Retirement is a strong word taking a break or a pause to deal with real life issues is something much less drastic and very much understood.
DeleteOk...let me put it this way.
DeleteYesterday I was told my pancreas may be failing. This is on top of a liver problem, depression, anhedonia, and other issues.
You say disappearing is a slap in the face?
If I don't retire and just up and die or have a stroke or something...you'd feel like I quit and it's a slap in the face that nothing new comes out even months or years later?
I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS GOING TO KILL ME OR DISABLE ME TO THE POINT OF BEING A SHELL OF MYSELF.
I'm at risk of going blind, having a stroke, and having a heart attack because my blood sugar is catastrophic. The highest it's ever been. And what normally helps lower it...exercise, diet...its not working anymore.
Retiring is the responsible thing to do instead of letting readers be perpetually waiting for nothing to come.
I'm going out on my own terms before things get worse to where I can't.
Yes, I might get better. I don't know. Stress may be my biggest problem and I have to focus on my health.
If I don't...then I will get worse. Then I might become disabled in ways that makes Gensabi impossible. I can't cap what I can't see! I can't write or create stories if a stroke wipes out my mind or paralyzed part of my body.
I've done this for 18 years. 18 years. And you think retirement now due to my health is a slap in the face?
How dare you! How double dare you! This is making me NOT want to even try to come back if I can get this straightened out about my health.
I've already explained more about my conditions than I really wanted to. I shouldn't have had to say this much.
I'm not going to be a ghost making capped pics or a zombie.
This takes 3 months at a time. I don't know what's going to happen 3 months from now if I'm even still alive.
My health is currently drastic. So drastic measures are in order.
prioritize health first. then decide whether you want to retire or not. just put 1-2 years of hiatus
ReplyDeleteAt this rate I might be dead by then. Heck, I almost died 4 years ago! I'm still going to check in from time to time if I can.
Deletesorry to hear about your health Gensabi take care of yourself, that comes first. If this is truly the end for this blog, i just want to say thank you my friend for all these great caps, and the ones you fid for me. just amazing, i appreciate it so much. Again Thank you Gensabi, Take care my friend. A pleasure to read youe caps, frim your yahoo group days till now. Thank you again. You are Awesome.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Today has been going better than the last couple. Maybe in 3 months things might be different and better. It's going to take a lot of time and effort on my part to reverse this polarity.
DeleteAll the best Gensabi, you'll be missed terribly. We wish the best for you!
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteKeep being positive and never give up the fight.
ReplyDeletei know im several weeka late to this post but given the amount of ignorance i've read here obviously some people need a wake up call
ReplyDeletefirst of all lets get the obvious out of the way retiring isn't quiting everyone has to retire at some point like it or not so this idea that retiring due to health issues is complete and utter bullshit its actually the number one reason for retirement in fact next to injuries on or off job site that cause someone to have to retire because they can no longer work in their condition
secondly if your health is bad and your hobby is taking away from recovery then it is absolutely the best idea to retire from it until your able to stabilize yourself or indefinitely if you have to keep up with your health and don't have the time to contribute to that hobby anymore
i think some people around here need to check their ego at the door
Thank you very much! I literally just got out of the hospital last week but I've been dealing with more stress than anything, stress from people around me and about my health in general.
DeleteI did make three new ones recently to try and relieve some of the stress. I think it helped but I'm not sure.
There's a toxic person in my life right now that I cannot get rid of. Thankfully the chest pains weren't my heart but my blood pressure was high.
Right now my risk of stroke and heart attack are higher because my blood sugar is way too high. I was admitted into the hospital for several days over this. Echocardiogram, stress tests, and so on. I couldn't even do the treadmill. I tried, but it was too much.
Right now my mental health and my physical health are feeding each other negatively. I have to get a handle on it.