Dear Readers,
This post was originally going to be a suicide note.
Events transpired yesterday through this morning that affected me and now I know it was stupid to feel suicidal or even upset in hindsight.
I was going to let you guys know I'd upload the rest of what I have done, and that'd be it.
I have a 5 parter that needs a title yet, and I have the second to last Purses cap done. I had thought about finishing the rest of purses because my laptop has been staying up the last few nights but it did restart on me while downloading pics last night.
I need time to get my head more straight after this though. I was hit hard this morning and it put me over the edge. I reached out for help though. I did call a Crisis Hotline but I wasn't in the right mind. Nor the left mind either.
I'm an unusual case in that I can normally talk myself out of suicide. I've been doing that since the late 1990s. This morning my last trump card was incinerated. My family seemed to no longer need me or want me. They don't know about Gensabi. They just know me.
All it took was one problem to push me towards suicidal thoughts, and that's not good. At least I didn't become the Joker. You know, all it takes is one bad day.
I need time to recollect myself. Not having a job, no romantic relationship, and all of it just caught up with me today as well I think.
Sincerely,
Gensabi
Don't
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to do it. I erased the suicide note I saved as a draft and wrote that instead. I'm just not capping for a few days. Trying to get my head straight.
DeleteDon't
ReplyDeleteCause I said so
I'm not doing it. This morning was rough. I'm just taking a couple days off of capping to get my head sorted.
DeleteI know u already said you're not doing it but know suicides never the answer. No matter how bad life seems at the time. Your lifes important. I wish you the best.
ReplyDelete- K
I've had problems with it for most of my life. I can usually trick myself out of doing it, I had a few years where it never crossed my mind at all. Then there were times the only thing keeping me alive was waiting for the next Marvel movie. Today nothing worked, but people were there for me.
DeleteDon't friend, it's not the answer, life is worth living, through both the good times and the bad.
ReplyDeleteI will miss your stuff a lot, you are one of my favorite cappers out there.
So stay strong friend.
And remember you have people that care about you here. Mr. Gensabi.
Thanks, and it's not Mr., and if it was technically it'd be Mr. Matango, so it's just Gensabi! I really do appreciate it.
DeleteHey, take care. I know the struggle. Its hard but remember you are loved even if it doesn't seem evident at the time. I enjoy your work, but recollecting your self is more important. Just remember to take one step at a time. Good luck and know you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
Delete