Dear Readers,
I'm definitely not coming back this time.
This morning I was confronted privately. After pouring out my heart and soul to explain my experiences I was told it's all just fetish, not real Transgender experience, that everything I described was fetish and that transgender is more than about "wearing pink pumps". Apparently their teenage years experiences are valid but mine were not. Mine were just "fetishism". That being part of the online TG community wasn't real. Again the COGIATI test was attacked. When I started out that was the recommended go to. Now? It's laughed at, dismissed as being a tool for figuring out whether or not to transition.
So I'm not coming back. If all this was just fetishism there's no point. If my experiences aren't valid, if what I went through isn't legitimate, then why even bother?
I'm done. I can't come back. It used to be so welcoming. People understood that each person takes a different journey. How can you demand that your experiences be respected then totally negate someone else's? That's not right.
I did have more new ones made. I just wasn't going to post them and I never will now. I'm apparently not qualified to be a participant in anything TG at all. So I won't be.
My feelings don't matter. My experiences are illegitimate. My opinions hold no weight.
It doesn't matter if I was scared of being caught wearing my mom's clothes. It doesn't matter how abusive my father was towards women. It doesn't matter how I felt even before having a computer or finding the community online. It was all just fetishism apparently.
I know many didn't like my ego. The retirement attempts in the past always failed due to that ego. There were times being Gensabi was therapeutic. I really tried to keep going for the fans. Some people even said it helped on their TG journey. I don't know anymore.
I think this is my last post. I'm honestly thinking about deleting the blog. What's the point in keeping it up other than my ego?
Sincerely,
Gensabi
